The Purposely Lost Chapters
by deadpan riot
Summary: There were the lost, then found, chapters. And then, there were the purposely lost chapters. History is only what someone else wants it to be, after all. oneshots based off being not so nice in Fable:TLC.
1. the opening

Before we get into it, a little forward, which also houses the disclaimer for the entire story. I didn't feel like making this into a long author's note on top of the first chapter. So I gave it it's own little space, to branch out and what not.

**Aforementioned Forward Thing**

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><p>The Guild of Heros, a marvelous little place that teaches the finer points to killing things, then lets loose it's pupils out into the wide world to do whatever they damn well please. Want to save a kitten from a tree? Go for it. Want to set the tree on fire and see what said kitten will do? Be our guest.<p>

The story goes that the Hero of Oakvale was a good man, who saved kittens and played with butterflies.

Not my Hero.

They say he was called Chicken Chaser, a harmless man who grew up a peasant, and kept the name out of nostalgia and good humor.

Not my Hero.

_My_ Hero of Oakvale was a psychopath, who punted kitties and amassed an army of flies. Who was born a peasant, but shunned his past like the plague, killing his former kinsmen out of a sense of misplaced nostalgia and twisted humor. They dubbed him the Chicken Killer. I know him fondly, as Cock Head.

Clearly, he had some issues.

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><p>The following drabblesoneshots will center around a Hero that is any other color of the rainbow, except white. (which isn't a color, it's a hue, I know. But if you shine white light through a prism, what do you get? That's right, every freaking color of the rainbow.) Be it straight up evil, or prancing in the middle, I will go there. Kittens and butterflies? Not so much.

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable in the following works, be it people, places, or situations. Everything that is to come is born from stupid thoughts inside my mind that arose during my play through of Fable: The Lost Chapters. Anything you find offensive, I'm not going to alter if you whine. If you can't handle a bit of skewed humor, how are you playing this game?

For those of you who also choose a path other than good, and found humor in various places during the storyline, enjoy.

To everyone else I say, why not take a walk on the wild side? There will be cookies. Although, I can't guarantee they'll be harmless.


	2. fowl savior

**A Fowl Savior**

**Hero**: Evil  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Briar Rose; Hologram!Scythe; Guildmaster; Hero  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Briar returns to the Guild, and learns some unsettling news

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><p><em>The Guild, it was the same poorly lit book graveyard it had been when last she saw it. Scrawny, hooded people skittering to and fro, dodging through hallways with noses in books, or running into one another in the bright light of the training grounds; the crawl of lore and magic across her exposed bits, the scent of sword polish and parchment; everything about it screamed 'home'.<em>

_And she'd spent enough time away to appreciate it all right. There were a few things, however, she hadn't missed in the slightest._

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><p>Briar glanced up at Weaver, mouth slightly agape as she processed what she'd just been told. Jack of Blades was back, she could wrap her mind around that. It was the <em>other <em>little detail she was having issue with. More to the point, the Hero that had just been hailed as Jack's slayer, and the savior of humanity.

"I'm sorry, but did I hear you right?" She looked between the Guildmaster and the projected form of Scythe over her glasses. "_That _kid is the one who's supposed to save us all from Jack of Blades?"

"I wasn't aware you knew of whom we spoke. Though young, the Hero-"

"Is a bloody lunatic. Look, Guildmaster, I know you're all about that whole 'choose your own destiny' bit, but I highly doubt even you can look at that kid and think he's the best choice to save humanity."

"You seem set in your belief. What has persuaded you so, Briar?"

The Heroin frowned at the corpse-like man, meeting the sunken red eyes without flinching. "Have you ever _met_ him? I did, when I made my way through Oakvale this morning to pick up some of my things. You know what the bastard was doing when I walked out of the shop? Hacking people apart, in _broad daylight_. And that's not even the best part, which would be the bit where I tell you he was doing it in a dress and a chicken hat! And what's more, the people in the shop were acting like it was a common occurrence!"

Scythe just looked at her, and between being a hologram at the moment, and his lacking of actual flesh on his face, Briar had no idea if he was affected at all by her words. The Guildmaster, however, was looking slightly uneasy, but none the less, attempted to brush it off.

"Yes, well, I'm sure when it comes down to it-"

The Cullis Gate flared to life, a gangly form with a disproportionate head stepping out from the light. The three watched in silence as the Hero strutted towards the experience portal, dress askew and chicken hat spattered with something that was most defiantly not raspberry jam.

One of the maids appeared from nowhere, screeching when she saw the dirty footprints and droplets of red he trailed in his wake. The Hero paused, turning to regard the oblivious woman storming up to him. She vented her anger for over a minute before she got any reaction.

He zapped her with a jolt of lightning thrice, just enough each time to stun her and back her off. Once she'd staggered back an arm length, he pulled the sword from his back and proceeded to hack off one of her arms. Satisfied, he stepped into the green glow of the experience hub as if he'd just got done doing little more than conversing about the weather.

Briar turned back to the two men, raising her brows and gesturing towards the mess only a few feet away. "Has my point been made, or shall I go get the rest of the staff?"

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><p>an: yes, the chapter title is a pun. A play on the words foul and fowl. Why am I telling you? So you can get the entirty of the idiotic humor. Yes, I'm generous like that.


	3. the only, not the best, option

**The only, not the best, option  
>Hero: <strong>evil  
><strong>Characters: <strong>Briar Rose; Scyth; Hero  
><strong>Summary:<strong> as the hero goes to collect the first of the souls, Briar discusses options with scyth.

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><p>She stood next to Scythe, both watching the retreating back of the Hero. Behind them, the bronze gates of Archon's Folly seemed to groan in delight.<p>

"So Scythe, we're sending the Hero with the giant demon horns to get rid of Jack of Blades why, again?"

"He is the strongest, and has already felled the demon once before."

"Yea, but I mean, he's not exactly Mr. Sunshine and Happiness now is he? Are we sure leaving _him_ to destroy that mask is our best option? I mean, there's nobody else? Like say, someone who _won't _potentially decide it would do better as an accessory?"

"No. He is our only option."

"Right, of course he is. If you don't mind, I'm just going to pop off quick and prepare for the end of the world then."

Scythe nodded. "Do what you must. I will remain here until you return."

"Don't worry, I'll make it quick. When I get back, I'll watch over the Evil Door so you can do the same." And with that, Briar disappeared in the cool glow of her Guild Seal.

Scythe turned to contemplate the foreboding structure currently housing the Jack of Blades, mentally creating his own list of things that needed to be done before the world was once again swallowed by darkness.

"I'm getting too old for this."


End file.
